If you’ve been keeping up with me on social media, you probably saw that my husband and I recently celebrated our first anniversary (November 5). I can’t believe we’ve been married a whole year! We had a lovely, relaxing weekend at Faywood Hot Springs. During out time there, we laughed and cuddled and remembered all the things that lead to us falling in love four and half years ago. We also had a chance to reflect on all we’ve learned during this first year. It was actually more than I would have thought, and I’m going to share it with you!
5 Things We Learned About Being Married:
Don’t stop dating.
This is a big one, and we definitely had to practice for a while. Honestly, we’re still working on making time for the fun things we used to do before we got married. As wonderful as married life is, it can definitely get pretty mundane if you let the day-to-day tasks of paying bills and doing dishes consume your relationship. So plan fun things, and go do them!
Develop a “team” mentality.
My husband is constantly reminding me that we are on the same “team” whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or stressed out. During these times, he diligently refuses to let me face life’s struggles alone. This mentality goes beyond loving and supporting each other. You need to be as invested in your spouse as you are in yourself; that’s the only way that a team can truly be great!
Take breaks during arguments.
Oh man, was this a game-changer for us! Sometimes disagreements just get too emotional or out-of-hand to deal with any more. We’ve all been there, and it’s important to take a step back for a minute, give each other some space, and try again. Even though this can be tough to do in the moment, it has saved us from saying things that would have damaged our marriage. Sometimes 2 or 3 minutes is all it takes. If you aren’t already doing this, try it out the next time that you’re no longer in a “let’s figure this out” state of mind.
Practice “Heart-to-Heart” Conversations.
This is actually something that we learned during our pre-marital counseling, that we spent the first year turning into a habit. Essentially, the idea here is that when you’re going to have hard conversations. But if you physically position yourself in way that is loving, rather than condemning or distancing, it is likely to go better. Maybe it means sitting down, holding hands and looking at each other. Maybe it looks like wrapping your spouse up in a hug. It could be cuddling in bed with the lights down low. Really, it’s whatever works for you.
Respect each other.
This is easy enough to say. It’s a whole other beast to do it, and to do it well. But when two individual people, with their own thoughts, ideas, opinions, and ways of folding a t-shirt or squeezing a tube of toothpaste come together as one, it’s important to be respectful of each other. Learning the habit now will likely save you a fight or two down the road.
Speaking of Weddings…
Did you miss out on the posts from all my weddings DIYs? Check out the most popular ones here:
The Easiest Way to Write Your Own Vows (plus a free template!)
DIY Pallet Signs (great for other occasions too!)
Want more wedding DIYs? Click here.
By the way…
In case you were wondering, I am going to start writing about family life and relationships too! I figured that this post would be the perfect kick off for that! I’ve always had a passion for families, and I’m currently working toward becoming a marriage and family therapist. So, lucky you! I’ll be sharing lots of great advice and suggestions to help you grow and maintain strong, fun, and helpful relationships with loved ones.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear what marriage advice you have, just leave a comment below! What did you learn early on in your marriage?